Just joking .....

Hero_from_the_North · Post by **Hero_from_the_North** » 07-06-2011 09:57

[quote]A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Catholic priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course child. What can I do for you?

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next![/quote]

Mike · Post by **Mike** » 08-06-2011 10:36

Father's inventive. Gotta like that.

MoonRaven · Post by **MoonRaven** » 08-06-2011 12:56

:rofl good one

Sirdec · Post by **Sirdec** » 08-06-2011 15:13

awesome lol

MoonRaven · Post by **MoonRaven** » 09-06-2011 12:30

A theologian and an astronomer were talking together one day. The astronomer said that after reading widely in the field of religion, he had concluded that all religion could be summed up in a single phrase. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," he said, with a bit of smugness, knowing that his field is so much more complex.

After a brief pause, the theologian replied that after reading widely in the area of astronomy he had concluded that all of it could be summed up in a single phrase also.

"Oh, and what is that?" the astronaut inquired.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder what you are!"

Hero_from_the_North · Post by **Hero_from_the_North** » 09-06-2011 14:11

:rofl :rofl

Tracy · Post by **Tracy** » 09-06-2011 19:44

:rofl

MoonRaven · Post by **MoonRaven** » 10-06-2011 12:09

An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning.

45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt head
26. Military intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Child Proof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate

...And the number 1 oxymoron is..
1. Microsoft Works

Tracy · Post by **Tracy** » 13-06-2011 05:05

:rofl
good ones!

Hero_from_the_North · Post by **Hero_from_the_North** » 13-06-2011 19:24

[quote][b]As a 4-year-old sees it[/b]

A reader writes: "A friend told me today her nephew, who is 4 years old, is usually read a story at daycare by the teacher who is a bit chubby.
She cuddles him while reading the story.
She was off sick one day so her fill-in, who is very thin, read him the story.
He asked the new teacher: 'Do you have boobies?'
The woman was a little embarrassed, but told him, "of course I do!" and the kid answered: 'So please can you bring them with you tomorrow?'" [/quote]

Dreamtime

Your place to be when you are a dreamer

Just joking .....

Talk about all you want.

Just joking .....